Can a baby say yes or no? This question has caused a lot of shock in parenting groups and social media. Deanne Carson, an educator from Australia, came up with the strange idea that parents should ask their babies’ permission before changing their diapers.
Some people think it’s a brave move because it’s a way to teach kids about body liberty right from the start. For some, it’s totally useless and even funny.
It’s not just about diapers, though. It starts conversations about permission, respect, and how we talk to our kids before they can talk back.
What does the idea behind this controversial plan mean? Does science back it up? What is it about it that parents and experts all over the world are so upset about? Let’s get started.
The Philosophy Behind Asking for Baby Consent:
At first, the idea of asking a baby for consent might feel… odd. Babies can’t talk. They can’t nod their heads or say “yes.” So why even bother?
For Deanne Carson, it’s not about expecting a verbal answer. It’s about modeling behavior—showing even the youngest children that their bodies deserve respect. By pausing to ask, “Can I change your diaper now?” parents create a foundation of mutual respect, even if the baby can’t respond yet.
It’s About Habits, Not Answers
Carson’s approach isn’t literal. Babies don’t understand consent in the way adults do—but that’s not the point. The act of asking:
- Reinforcing that their body belongs to them.
- Sets the stage for teaching consent as they grow older.
- Helps parents practice respectfully communicating with their children.
It’s a habit, not a conversation. Carson believes that starting early can make respect for personal boundaries second nature—for both the child and the parent.
Why It Matters:
In a post #MeToo world, conversations around consent have become more urgent. Supporters believe that kids should learn about independence before they become adults. By starting young, they say, children are more likely to grow into adults who understand their limits and respect others.
Can Babies Understand What “Consent” is:
The answer is difficult. Babies cannot understand complex concepts like independence or asking for permission. They aren’t thinking about their rights. Does that mean asking is useless? Not really.
What Babies Do Understand:
Even if they can’t process consent intellectually, babies are highly sensitive to how they’re treated.
- Non-verbal cues matter: Babies pick up on tone, facial expressions, and gestures. A calm voice and gentle touch help them feel safe.
- Routine builds trust: Repeating respectful interactions—like pausing to ask—creates a secure environment.
- It’s about modeling: By asking, parents demonstrate consideration. Over time, this might help children internalize the idea of respecting boundaries.
What Experts Think:
According to developmental psychologists, early encounters aren’t really about teaching consent in the strictest sense. Instead, they help kids learn how to get along with others in the future. When babies feel secure and respected, that emotional safety can shape how they view relationships as they grow.
No Instant Results:
Of course, no one is expecting a baby to nod or say, “Sure, go ahead!” when asked for permission. But the act of asking isn’t for the baby’s immediate understanding—it’s about building a habit. For parents, it’s a small practice that reinforces respect.
Public Reactions:
When Deanne Carson’s idea became popular, it started talks and turned into a worldwide discussion. Parenting blogs, news sites, and social media were full of views. Some people were curious. Others were very angry.
Supporters:
To those in favor, Carson’s suggestion wasn’t as strange as it seemed. They saw it as part of a bigger picture—a step towards building a society where consent and respect are ingrained from the start.
- Encouraging autonomy: Supporters believe this practice helps children understand, as they grow, that their bodies belong to them.
- Creating trust: Many parents who embraced the idea said it helps in a more respectful bond with their children.
- A cultural shift: Some argued this aligns perfectly with the #MeToo movement, emphasizing consent in everyday life.
Critics:
Some people found the idea funny or completely unrealistic. Social media, especially, has become a place for feedback.
- Babies can’t consent: Critics pointed out the obvious: babies lack the cognitive ability to understand permission.
- Overcomplicating parenting: Parents already face countless challenges. Adding this, some argued, is unnecessary stress.
- Missing the point: Others felt the focus should be on teaching consent as children get older, rather than overanalyzing infant care.
The Internet’s Response:
Of course, the internet spoke out. There were a lot of memes and parodies on sites like Twitter that made fun of the idea. As one person joked, “Should I wait for my baby to sign a contract before bath time?”
Even though there was sarcasm, there were also real talks. Parents talked about how they used similar methods to create a respectful relationship from the beginning, not just to get permission.
Alternative Ways to Teach Consent to Babies:
Many parents find it unrealistic to think about asking a baby for permission to change their diaper. The main idea of teaching respect and agreement is very important. Fortunately, there are many simple ways to include these ideas in your daily parenting without making things too complicated.
Make It Part of Everyday Interactions:
Consent doesn’t need to be a big lesson. It can begin with tiny, everyday events.
- If your child says “no” to a hug or kiss, it’s important to follow their wishes. This small action shows that their boundaries are important.
- Instead of assuming, ask. Questions like, “Would you like me to help zip your jacket?” show them they have a voice.
- Offer choices. Choosing their clothes or picking between two snacks allows them to show what they like and feel more in charge.
Teach Them About Body Autonomy:
Even toddlers can begin learning that their body belongs to them.
- Use correct terms for body parts. It normalizes the conversation and removes any shame or discomfort.
- Talk about safe and unsafe touch in simple, age-appropriate ways.
- Emphasize that nobody, including family, has the right to their body without their consent.
Lead by Example:
Kids learn a lot by watching how adults behave. Parents who practice consent themselves send a powerful, unspoken message.
- Ask for permission in small ways: “Can I sit next to you?” or “Is it okay if I fix your hair?”
- If you cross a boundary by grabbing their hand without permission, just say you’re sorry. It’s an easy way to demonstrate responsibility.
Adapt as They Grow:
How you explain agreement will change over time. What is good for a toddler, like understanding when they say “no” to a hug, may change as they become preteens and learn about personal limits in friendships.
Why This Talk is Important in 2025:
Parenting has always changed over time, but right now it feels especially intense. Talks about permission, personal choice, and respect are now important for everyone, not just adults. They’re becoming a part of how we think about raising kids, starting from when they’re babies.
Shifting Cultural Priorities:
The rise of movements like #MeToo and growing awareness around bodily autonomy have reshaped how we view relationships and boundaries. What once seemed unnecessary—asking a baby for permission—now fits into a larger societal shift.
- A reaction to past mistakes: In the past, children were usually taught to follow authority figures without questioning them. This approach sometimes left them vulnerable to harm.
- Raising empowered adults: Today, the focus is on raising kids who feel confident saying “no” and respecting others’ boundaries.
This cultural context is why Carson’s suggestion struck a nerve. It’s not just about diapers—it’s about rethinking how we teach respect from the very beginning.
Parenting in an Age of Criticism:
In 2025, parents will face more attention and examination. Social media makes every decision more noticeable, making private choices into open discussions.
Parents receive a lot of advice, and much of it is mixed or contradictory. Asking for permission before changing a diaper may seem like a new practice, adding pressure to get it right.
Even with distractions, the key idea is clear: how we treat children matters. How we speak to babies teaches them about respect, trust, and boundaries.
Why This Conversation Matters in 2025
Parenting has always evolved, but today it feels more scrutinized than ever. Conversations about consent, body autonomy, and respect are no longer just adult topics—they’re becoming key elements of raising the next generation. And that’s where Deanne Carson’s suggestion struck a nerve.
A Shift in Cultural Priorities:
The way people think about relationships and limits has changed because of movements like #MeToo. This has made a lot of parents rethink how they connect with their children, even when they are very young.
In the past, children were taught to obey rules without asking why. This method put a lot of emphasis on punishment, but it left kids open to harm or unsure of what their limits were. Now, the goal has changed.
- Helping kids: Parents today want their children to feel strong and able to say “no.”
- Changing old habits: More people are starting to believe that following rules doesn’t always mean showing respect.
Carson’s idea matches this culture change. It’s not only about getting permission to change a diaper. It’s important to teach respect from an early age, even if it involves unusual methods.
Parenting Under the Spotlight:
Today’s parents feel a lot of anxiety. Social media has made every parenting choice a public discussion instead of a private decision.
Some people feel that asking for a baby’s permission is just another unrealistic demand. For many people, it seems like just another task added to an already overwhelming to-do list.
Some see it as an important move to adopt modern ideals and get kids ready for a world that values diversity.
Changing Traditional Ideas:
No matter what your opinion is, Carson’s idea has encouraged important thinking. It has made people stop and think about how things have always been done.
Asking a baby for permission may seem silly, but the idea behind it is important. How we talk and act with children now affects how they see themselves and others for the rest of their lives.
Final Thoughts:
People have different opinions on Deanne Carson’s idea to get babies’ permission before changing their diapers. However, it started a talk that was badly needed. Some people question whether or not this way works, but the main idea—teaching respect and independence from a young age—fits with a growing cultural shift.
These days, parenting isn’t so much about making kids obey, but about building trust, understanding, and limits. It doesn’t matter if parents agree with this method or not; the main point is that how we treat kids, even in small ways, shapes how they see respect and self-worth.
In the end, you don’t have to follow every new style to raise kids who are thoughtful and strong. Small acts of respect done on purpose can lead to a lifetime of understanding and kindness between two people.
